I don't believe I am suffering from POCD, as I (and this is going to sound really bad) am not exactly 'freaking out' about my thoughts, and find fantasies etc enjoyable and not stressful like POCD sufferers do. Yes, I had assumed that there were a lot more women like me so I was quite surprised when I started trying to find info on it in relation to females! Thanks for posting, it takes a lot of bravery to write all of this even on an anonymous forum I know how alienated you must feel, and it sucks. If you are really a hebephile (and don't just suffer POCD, and I believe what you said that you don't think that's you), you'll probably be dealing with this for a very long time Sorry. It makes it hard for us to find any useful information for ourselves when most studies about paraphilias only include male subjects. There are a couple of female /hebephiles here, not me actually, but I can totally relate, I'm a girl and I find that people think that only men have paraphilias. Skeleton-countess wrote:Hi, and welcome citygirl. Posts: 13 Joined: Sat 12:55 am Local time: Thu 8:14 pm Blog: View Blog (0)
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I hope I get some responses on this, even if you don't know much about the area please feel free to comment, it will really help me feel not so alone. I did some research into female paedophiles and came across loads of articles saying "DO FEMALE PEDOPHILES EXIST?" This makes me feel really alone- is my condition really that rare?! because of this I haven't been able to find any useful info that can help me in relation to being a female 'pedophile'- let alone a 'hebephile'. I am a reasonably normal girl in most other ways but I have this big secret and it's weighing me down, which is why I am posting on this forum now- I basically need someone to talk to about it! I know that my feelings are unnatural and shouldn't be acted upon, but the thought of doing so excites me.how do I get over this? Has anybody gone through/ is going through something similar? I don't feel comfortable telling any of this to a councillor or to friends and family. I'm not sure what set this into motion (though it has always been there). which have seemed to be getting stronger lately. I have a boyfriend that is the same age as me, though I find myself becoming increasingly disinterested in him due to my fantasies about young boys. I have no childhood traumas or abuse etc, I had an excellent childhood. I have also suffered from depression in the recent past. It may also be worth mentioning that I do suffer from OCD, however I don't believe this to be a case of POCD (obsessing about being a pedophile). I am actually bisexual but I am not attracted to underage girls AT ALL.
I don't generally find myself attracted to boys under 10, however there have been a few instances in which I have been, though it is not in quite the same way as I desire the older boys. I find myself sexually attracted to boys that are usually around this age group, though it is not just sexual- sometimes I find myself desiring a relationship with them. I know I referred to myself as a 'pedophile', but (after doing some research into my attraction) I believe I am something called a 'hebephile', meaning I am mostly attracted to 11-14 year olds. Obviously this was fine when I was younger, but now that I am 20 it is a real problem. I am a 20 year old woman and for as long as I can remember I have been attracted to young boys. Hi, this is my first post here so I'm not sure quite what to expect or if I will even get any replies, but I really feel like I have no other place to turn for help.
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